


Machine Learning

by mithril_owl



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Humor, Pre-Canon, The brainbots are trying their best, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:21:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28353111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mithril_owl/pseuds/mithril_owl
Summary: Why are some of the brainbots wandering off mid-plot?  It turns out they have a surprise for their Daddy…
Relationships: Megamind & Minion
Comments: 17
Kudos: 62





	Machine Learning

**Author's Note:**

> My first fanfic in almost 15 years!! I am slightly terrified... but this fandom has been so incredibly kind, and my love and enthusiasm cannot be contained. I hope you'll enjoy!

It was a quiet Sunday afternoon in the lair. Megamind was happily tightening the bolts on the Equestrinator in preparation for Thursday’s plot, and the distant sound of Minion puttering around the kitchen echoed through the halls. The papers in his idea cloud gently swayed in the breeze created by the pacing brainbots eager to begin their regular maintenance.

It was long overdue after their past two encounters with Metro Man, but Megamind’s last stint in prison had run longer than expected so everything was completely behind schedule- construction, repairs, de-bugging, even grocery runs.

Although de-bugging was quickly moving higher up on his to-do list with each passing day. It had almost become a top priority with the continued absence of several bots that repeatedly failed to report for duty on their assigned subroutines.

Rogue AI disappearing during a plot was expected-- even factored into the plan itself by dispatching an extra dozen bots on stand-by to jump in as needed. Distraction from external stimulus was almost inevitable when the core AI was built using canine DNA. But to fail to report for regular maintenance and duties inside the lair was almost unheard of amongst his cyborgs.

After several weeks of absence Megamind was quite surprised to see six of the rogue brainbots quietly appear at his side. Normally, they would be reticent to approach their Daddy knowing how badly they had disobeyed- yet they stood almost proudly, eager for his attention. Still peeved by their disappearing act, Megamind ignored them to switch out the socket size and mentally run through his pre-plot checklist.

Four days might be cutting it close, but he was confident the Equestrinator would be more than ready for the next confrontation. The individual components of the legs and lower body were laid out across the lair, ready for a quick assembly. Any bots not scheduled for maintenance were building scaffolding around the completed head for Megamind to connect the atomic energon drill’s motor.

(…was it his turn to grease the hydraulics or was it Minion's? Oh well. Surely he would remember to ask before installing the external plates.)

Once his hoofed menace was complete, all that was left to do was to run the final calibrations and test the light board. And kidnap Miss Ritchi, of course. As much as Megamind would like to have done it himself, he needed Minion to pick her up this week to give him extra time to hook up the surround sound and dispatch the camera bots.

Everything was going to be perfect. Plan #554 was going to be The One to bring down Metro Man!

His train of thought was interrupted when several of the bots began to vocalize insistently, bowging in a sequence that signified a request to interface. With a heavy sigh Megamind stomped across the room to gather the monitor that would allow him to best communicate with his unruly cyborgs. They absolutely did not have time for this; he still had another hundred bolts to tighten, not to mention the final diagnostic run on the circuitry (if the brainbots hadn’t already chewed the multimeter again…) The timing was still going to be tight in spite of the headway he had made at the sacrifice of a few nights’ sleep.

If this was another request to simply play a game of “fetch the wrench” he was going to de-commission the lot of them until he had time to properly deal with the problem. He returned to connect the jack into the inquisitive bot with a bit more force than necessary and flopped back into his drafting chair.

“All right, there had better be a good explanation for—” Megamind trailed off as the text slowly began to appear on the monitor:

> cmd>systeminfo  
>  Hostname: BOTCLOUD  
>  Registered owner: 01_Megamind; alt ID “DADDY”  
>  Bot ID: 2965  
>  start>RENAME_PROTOCOL.BAT  
>  id_get>2965>rename “Soprano”; GENDER_ID F;  
>  id_get>2809> rename “Altoid”; GENDER_ID F;  
>  id_get>2922> rename “Tennnnnnnor”; GENDER_ID M;  
>  id_get>2808> rename “Berry Tone”; GENDER_ID N;  
>  id_get>2987> rename “Base”; GENDER_ID N;  
>  id_get>2833> rename “Ludwig van Beethoven”; GENDER_ID F;  
>  save>exit>  
>  gpupdate> Data successfully uploaded to BOTCLOUD  
>  run WALTZ.tfrecords  
>  echo | set /p=DADDY please disconnect now.

“Wh…” Megamind blinked at the interface in confusion and numbly obeyed the unusually direct order from the machine. As soon as the cable was removed the bot bowged happily into position with the others.

The six brainbots separated into two rows, and the question on his lips immediately died as each bot began to emit a pitched bowg in turn like a barbershop choir warming up. Base was slightly flat, which earned a chastising nip from their two neighbours.

“Oh, Minion! Minion!! Come here, quickly!” Megamind clasped his hands together in delight, his earlier frustration immediately forgotten.

“Sir?” heavy footsteps echoed in the hallway as Minion appeared with a mixing bowl clutched in his hands. “Is everything okay?”

“Yes! The bots from the 29 and 28 runs have made astounding leaps with their machine learning algorithms. Minion, look! They’ve learned _music_!” he was bouncing in his seat.

“Well, that would certainly explain their absence from the horde,” Minion smiled, turning to the eager bot chorus.

“Who has a strong neural network, _yes you do_! Are you going to sing for Daddy? Go on, my little musical cyborgs!” Megamind leaned forward in his chair, elbows braced on his knees and chin resting in his hands.

The newly christened Soprano bowged to the group, and the sextet repeated the chord in unison with no errors.

“That’s incredible!” Minon’s mouth hung slack in the tank. Megamind shushed him abruptly with a flailing hand as they began their song in earnest.

It was a simple waltz, starting with the deepest ‘voices’ bowging a low downbeat. Altoid and Tennnnnnnor chimed in on the second and third beats. After a few measures, Soprano and Beethoven joined in with the lilting main melody. The crackle of electricity in their domes accompanied the song in a soft drone, and each member of the brainbot chorus bobbed gently along to the music as they sang.

“I don’t believe it,” whispered Megamind. Minion briefly glanced at his friend as he watched his creations with a rapt, childlike wonder and unbridled joy. No posturing, no theatrics-- one of the delightfully rare glimpses of the real Megamind.

“Why have none of the other brainbots shown this kind of behaviour?” Minion asked in a low voice as the bot choir continued in the background.

“They were the first lots to deviate from canine matter in their core; the 28 and 29 series used--“

“Birds,” Minon breathed in recognition, returning his gaze upward. He remembered that day in the workshop, but he could never keep the sequence numbers straight like Sir could.

Avian tissue had proved difficult to synthesize, and many of the early runs encountered an unreconcilable error in the code that compelled the bots to hurl themselves into the nearest reflective surface- there was just something about mirrors that broke their logic programming.

Which, of course, neither Megamind or Minion realized would be an issue until they were activated in the heart of the lab…

…Surrounded by large, half-finished and _very_ shiny stainless steel creations.

The carnage was immense, and Megamind had to reschedule his plots for an entire month to accommodate repairs and cleaning. Most of the units were immediately decommissioned and re-programmed for another run, but a small number of the original bots remained active with uncorrupted programming.

The higher voices continued to bowg out their simple melody while the supporting voices kept perfect time and pitch. A textbook example of a waltz in form and meter.

Until Beethoven abruptly bowged out a countermelody entirely different from Soprano, who turned a stern disapproving eye stalk towards her partner.

The two aliens blinked in utter confusion as the peaceful ambiance was shattered.

“…was that Metallica?” Megamind raised an eyebrow.

The melody returned, though it was quickly interrupted again after a few measures by what they both immediately recognized as Black Sabbath. Soprano turned to snap angrily at the rebellious bot.

“I think they picked up on some of the music you listen to while you work,” Minion laughed, bobbing in his bowl.

Beethoven was now half a measure behind Soprano and her eye stalk was twitching due to the suppressed urge to express her true musical self.

Encouraged by the improvisation, Berry Tone suddenly broke formation and bowged a long melody that was not even remotely in the same key as the simple little song, briefly startling the other bots as they trailed off into nothing.

“Is _that_ something they made up?” Minion finally broke the silence.

“No, I think it’s Strauss. It must have remained in their cache from the machine learning that formed their knowledge of musical theory.”

In vain, Altoid and Tennnnnnnor tried to resume their accompaniment, with Base coming in later and later on each measure. Soprano somehow managed to increase her volume aggressively, while Beethoven and Berry Tone abandoned all pretense of participation and alternated between entirely unrelated strains of rock and classical music.

Megamind smiled beneath his fist and felt his shoulders shake with suppressed laughter, not wanting to hurt the bots’ feelings. They had all worked so hard to prepare something special for their Daddy! And in spite of the bizarre logical errors and memory recalls, he was still ecstatic. It was always a cause for celebration when the brain bots displayed such fantastic leaps in their autonomous development.

“I wonder if they take requests?” he grinned.

As both the noise and Soprano’s rage continued to grow, some of the other bots on standby for repairs decided to investigate the cacophony.

“Bowg?” inquired 2992, who had chosen the name of Tuna.

“Bowg,” nodded 2892, designation Dont-Bite-Me-Ouch.

Several other bots attempted to join the fun, quickly understanding that the sound of their vocalizations mattered but lacking the theory to understand why only certain frequencies were acceptable.

Soprano was beside herself, snapping at the new bots that dared to ruin their special performance. WALTZ.tfrecords was turning into an utter failure!

Like the musicians aboard the Titanic, Altoid and Tennnnnnnor dutifully carried on while everything around them fell apart. Base was now joining in on the upbeats while Beethoven and Berry Tone continued to sing in their own little world, oblivious to the rules of key and time signature.

Tuna and Dont-Bite-Me-Ouch led another group of bots in a second dissonant chorus, while Sock gave chase to Put-Down-The-Damn-Wrench as he snatched the socket wrench hanging off the Equestrinator. The pair was followed by a small swarm of younger bots who were very bored with the noise.

As Beethoven burst into a rendition of the guitar solo from Free Bird, Megamind and Minion finally burst into peals of delighted laughter.

For a brief moment it was complete auditory anarchy, the aliens’ cackling intertwined with the frenzied shrieking of brainbots and echoing against the high ceilings of the lair. Soprano was so far gone with rage her vocalizer kept clipping and it was more electrical feedback than music. Still the middle voices diligently bowged on.

When Megamind finally caught his breath, he gave a sharp whistle to gather the unruly AI’s attention. The sudden silence was nearly overwhelming. Soprano gave one final surly bowg and a nip at Beethoven.

“Al right, all right- Bravo! That was very good. Daddy is _very_ proud of you--!” Megamind stood to applaud his cyborgs and was immediately tackled back into the chair by six excited brainbots fighting for head pats. The combined weight caused him to overbalance and land on the floor, his thin limbs helplessly sticking out beneath the mountain of happy bots continuing to nuzzle against him.

Minion briefly disappeared to retrieve the hidden stash of stripped screws to distract the overenthusiastic bots. The treat still wasn’t enough to pull their attention from their master, and Megamind lay trapped beneath the bots with a broad smile on his face, wheezing breathlessly with laughter.

* * *

Not even the absolute failure of the Equestrinator could dampen his joy. In his cell, Megamind mentally revised the pre-plot checklist (“verbally confirm whose turn it is to grease all necessary hydraulics” was now highlighted and underlined) and thought of his bot chorus, humming softly to himself as he reclined in the world’s most uncomfortable chair.

Outside the domed cell, Officer Adams stretched in his own miserable chair with a groan and grimaced as several joints popped. God, he was getting too old for the night shift. As his own exclamation of pain trailed off, he tilted his head to the side as a familiar tenor carried through the door.

“…is that _Die Fledermaus_?”

* * *

The six bots were retired from the field and assigned to permanent lair duties, with the freedom to come and go as they pleased to practice their next song (so long as their dusting subroutines were completed).

Within a week of his jailbreak, Megamind had tracked down a small mountain of supplemental materials to encourage the brianbot’s continued education. He downloaded electronic theory textbooks for his musical protégés, and introductory lessons for any other bots that were interested…

…and for the original six, several audiobooks on team-building and cooperation.

**Author's Note:**

> Come hang with me on [Tumblr!](https://owlinabasket.tumblr.com/)


End file.
